Scared of Being a Mom Again
You lot read that title right – I am scared to be a mom. Permit me give a footling backstory get-go. Growing up, I loved babies. I loved existence effectually them, holding them and playing with them. I idea I'd be married and be a mom by the time I turned 25. But the older I got, the more I wanted to put kids off. A lot of those reasons are in a post I wrote final twelvemonth about why Adam and I are waiting to take children.
Over the last few months in particular though, I've been earthworks deep and thinking nearly children more. I remember information technology's because recently, more than people we know are getting pregnant and having kids of their own and my social media newsfeeds are a abiding reminder of that. I've been asking myself why I yet don't feel ready. Again, a lot of those reasons are in concluding yr'southward post. But what I didn't include in that postal service – because I don't think I really realized it and so – is that I'm scared .
It'due south scary to come right out with that and admit that I'k scared. Even so, I'm sharing this considering I think more than women need to talk about their fears and their struggles so other women know they are not alone in the thoughts that they accept and the feelings they are going through. I would like to think that I am not alone in this. Then, if you lot're reading this post and are scared to be a mom too, I'chiliad right in that location with ya. I'1000 sharing my reasons why below – exist prepared for some #realtalk.
I'yard Scared I'll Take to Give up My Dreams
Call me selfish, merely I don't desire everything I've been working so hard for to come up to an end when I accept a child. I understand we as women accept to re-prioritize our lives when we have children, but I too know that I don't want to forget near my passions and my goals in the process. I've worked really hard to go where I am in my career and I'thousand hustling twenty-four hours and dark to brand Lipstick & Ink into something legitimate. And despite the long hours, I get in work balancing both a full-fourth dimension task and a side hustle.
How in the world would I be able to practice that though if I as well need to take care of another human? I know realistically information technology'southward probably not possible and something would accept to requite. But that's the thing – I don't want to surrender either of them right now.
I'1000 Scared I Won't Know What I'm Doing
Give me a schoolhouse historic period child and I got it covered. Only put a babe in my arms and tell me I accept to take care of him or her and I tense upwards. I never babysat babies growing upward, nor was I ever actually around them for long periods of time (aside from my younger sis). I'grand agape I'one thousand going to have my babe and immediately have to call up my mom or a friend to come help Adam and I take intendance of him or her. I suppose that's why there's books and millions of articles on the cyberspace to aid fix you lot for this sorta thing, only nevertheless, I'm just terrified I won't take whatsoever idea of what I'm doing – or that I'll fifty-fifty be good at it.
I'one thousand Scared of Things Going Wrong
Always since I was probably in high school, I've known that women tin can accept miscarriages. Simply I didn't realize how common they were until I began hearing of more and more women having them. Maybe it's because women are starting to break down the stigma of miscarriage and are beingness more open up virtually it. Whatever the case, it'south devastating. Hearing that a loved one has gone through that breaks my heart each and every time. Information technology then makes me wonder, what if that happens to me? How would I cope? Could I mentally handle that?
I'm Scared It Volition Negatively Bear upon My Mental Wellness
Which brings me to my next point. I've suffered from depression in the past and I battle anxiety almost every mean solar day. In add-on to miscarriages, I've likewise heard of women's hardships with postpartum depression. I am terrified I may be one of those women in the future. While others may consider me every bit strong and put together, I truthfully have internal struggles every twenty-four hours. I question if I could be mentally stiff plenty to have a child. The last affair in the world I would desire is to have my mental wellness go far the way of the joys of having a kid.
I'm Scared of My Trunk Irresolute
I know this sounds vain. Only the truth is, I've struggled with my weight since puberty. I yo-yo dieted all through high school and college and carried more weight than I always would have liked. I've changed my nutrition and exercise routine over the years and have constitute things that accept worked for me. I'm finally at a betoken in my life where most days, I can expect in the mirror and be proud of who I am and how I look.
I am scared that if and when I'm pregnant, equally my body changes and I gain weight, that I won't look or experience beautiful. I am scared that if and when I accept my baby, that my body won't look or feel the same. I am scared that later nascency, when I wait in the mirror, I won't be happy with what I run across. Me writing this may rub yous the incorrect way, simply this is #realtalk, call back? This is 1 of my truths.
I'g Scared to Give Nascence
My mother is a saint. She gave birth to me without an epidural. How she did it, I take no idea, but I definitely promise to never observe out what that feels like. Give me the epidural! Fifty-fifty though that helps lessen the pain, I'm still very uneasy about the idea of giving nativity. The contractions, the pushing, the violent…. non to mention, you tin't even eat during labor. (I just recently plant that out and was #mindblown.) To the mommas out at that place who have given nascence, I salute you lot. You are my heroes.
I'm Scared My Spousal relationship Will Suffer
As I mentioned in this post, I admit that Adam and I take a pretty solid relationship. I know that'due south probably abrasive for a lot of people to hear, but information technology's true. It's why I am scared that having a kid volition crusade a rift in our relationship. Between the no sleep, the added responsibilities, the balancing of piece of work and baby, I can only imagine the stress that can add to a human relationship. I don't want to become the couple whose lives revolve effectually their child. I want to nevertheless be us and take time for us and be selfish together. I desire our marriage to keep thriving and hope that a kid won't affect that.
I'm Scared to Lose My "Me" Fourth dimension
I'm selfish with my time and I accept no qualms in admitting it. I like my time alone. My time lonely usually means I am doing something for me, whether information technology's writing, reading, going to treat myself to a facial or massage, or fifty-fifty but going for a walk to get some fresh air. I demand that time to cope with my feet. Having a kid, I feel, will bear on that time. I am just not ready to give that up yet.
I'chiliad Scared That I'll Emotionally Scar My Children
Did I have a good childhood? Mostly. Just I'd be lying if I said it wasn't clouded with pain, cant and control that I've carried with me into machismo. I didn't realize how much the negative effects of my childhood afflicted me until I went to therapy a few years ago. It was an eye-opening experience to hear from a completely unbiased person who didn't know me at all tell me why I was the way I was – and nearly of it was rooted in my childhood. That weighs on me – heavily.
I don't want to be the reason my children go to therapy. I don't want my children to go through what I had to go through. But I'grand terrified that in some way, I will replicate what I went through and do some of the things I saw growing upwards, without even realizing information technology.
I'm Scared to Bring Children into This World
My generation has seen some ungodly things already in our lifetime. From the World Merchandise bombing and 9/eleven attacks to school and church shootings to a number of dissimilar wars. It'southward enough to make you non want to have kids for fearfulness of what their futures might await like. When you hear of people being murdered, mugged and kidnapped, information technology leaves me in a constant state of paranoia that something might happen to me and I am sure that will exist amplified if and when I were to have a child too. This is the earth we live in and I'grand terrified to bring another human life into it.
This is my confession: I am scared to be a mom.
I'thou curious, are y'all scared to be a mom too? Or were you before you had your own child? If and so, what scares/scared you about? Please share your thoughts in the comments!
Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, career omnibus, speaker and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. She also works total-time in applied science equally a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over ten years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, Chicago Tribune, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, and SheFactor. She's fueled by blackness coffee, sunshine, a adept ink pen, and a bold lip.
Source: https://thelipstickandink.com/scared-to-be-a-mom/