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Feeling or knowing that your girlfriend no longer loves you lot can be a heartbreaking and frustrating feel. Fortunately, while yous can't really control or change how your girlfriend feels about you, there are things you tin can exercise to help salvage the relationship. Communicate honestly with your girlfriend almost where you stand and what yous can both do to improve things. Try to rekindle your old feelings for each other with pity, intimacy, and romantic gestures. If you don't feel similar you lot can ameliorate the situation on your own, look into couples counseling or individual therapy.

  1. 1

    Communicate with your girlfriend most what went wrong. If you want to repair your relationship with your girlfriend, you lot volition need to find out why she feels the fashion she does. Ask her if she tin can sit down down with you and have a heart-to-centre chat almost how she is feeling and what you lot can both do to brand information technology ameliorate.

    • If you and your girlfriend have been fighting, look until you've both calmed downwardly earlier having a discussion. Trying to talk while both of you are upset may lead to more fighting and resentment.[i]
    • You might first by telling her how you experience, and so inviting her to give you her perspective. Utilise "I" language to express your feelings. For example, "I feel unloved lately, and I'm afraid we might be drifting autonomously. How are you feeling virtually things between us?"
    • Practise your best to stay at-home and ceremonious, and listen actively to what she has to say.

  2. ii

    Avoid blaming your girlfriend for problems in the relationship. When things are going incorrect, it's piece of cake to start pointing fingers. Instead of blaming her for any problems between you, mind to what she has to say with an open listen. Once you allow her have her say, yous may realize that you've been misinterpreting her words and deportment.[ii]

    • Even if your girlfriend is at least partly responsible for things going sour betwixt you, blaming her volition only put her on the defensive and create a deeper wedge betwixt you.
    • Putting all the arraign on her also takes away your own agency in the relationship and makes it harder for you to focus on making things amend.[iii]

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  3. 3

    Take responsibility and apologize for your own mistakes. Calmly acknowledge your mistakes to your girlfriend and apologize without making excuses or trying to justify yourself. Recall that taking responsibility doesn't mean blaming yourself for everything that goes incorrect. Information technology simply means reflecting on your own actions and recognizing that yous there are things you lot may accept washed that contributed to the rift betwixt the 2 of y'all.[iv]

    • For instance, you might say, "You're right, I haven't been every bit attentive to you lot lately as I should accept been. I permit myself get likewise caught up in my own projects and didn't really think nigh your needs. I'm lamentable, and I'll make an attempt to do ameliorate from now on."
    • Avert apologizing in a way that puts the blame on your girlfriend or excuses your deportment. For example, don't say something like, "I'm sorry, merely you shouldn't have frustrated me like that."

  4. iv

    Validate her feelings . Listening to what your girlfriend has to say about what she's feeling may be hard, but it's actually a skillful thing if she's willing to open up to you. Let her know that you recognize what she's feeling and respect her right to feel that way. That will go a long way toward showing her that you really care virtually her and the human relationship.

    • Try showing that yous understand what she feels past "reflecting" her feelings back in your own words.
    • For example, if she complains that you spend as well much fourth dimension watching Idiot box instead of having quality time with her, say something like, "Information technology sounds like you feel lonely and frustrated when I watch TV in the evenings instead of sitting down to chat with you lot over dinner."[5]

  5. 5

    Work together to come up upwardly with solutions. Once you've pinpointed the main problems that are driving a wedge between you and your girlfriend, ask her if she'd exist willing to sit downwardly with y'all and talk nigh what you can both exercise to brand things amend. You lot tin offer your ain ideas, just exist sure to ask for her input and listen carefully to what she has to say.

    • For instance, if she's frustrated because she feels similar she'southward doing too much work in the relationship, talk about ways to separate up your responsibilities more than evenly. Y'all could offering to accept turns cooking or washing the dishes, for example.

  6. 6

    Brand a commitment to change and stay consistent. Acknowledging the areas where you demand to improve and promising to work on them will not be enough. Y'all need to prove your girlfriend through your deportment that you are truly fix to make a change. Make specific promises and follow through on them.

    • For instance, maybe your girlfriend has trouble trusting you because y'all've been unreliable in the past. Make a indicate of establishing consequent behavior patterns going frontward—e.g., if you say you lot are going to exist home at a certain time, make certain you are there!
    • If you do slip up, ain up to it and repent immediately.

  7. 7

    Respect her need for space. If things are really bad between yous and your girlfriend, she may not even be willing to accept a discussion right now. If she doesn't desire to talk, don't try to strength it—she will merely stop upward feeling smothered and resentful. Instead, accomplish out and let her know you lot are willing to talk whenever she's ready, then dorsum off and exit her alone.[6]

    • Y'all might say something similar, "I sympathize that y'all don't feel like talking about things right now. I just wanted to let you know that I dearest y'all and really want the states to make this work if we can. I'll be hither if you want to talk."

  8. viii

    Accept that you lot may not be able to save the relationship. Recall that you lot can't actually control what your girlfriend does or how she feels about you lot. All you can do is let her know how you lot feel and do your best to show her that yous're willing to work on making things better.[seven]

    • If your girlfriend does break up with you lot, respect her decision. Lashing out at her or pursuing her when she's asked you lot to go out her alone will not make her more inclined to requite things another chance.

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  1. 1

    Ask your girlfriend how you lot tin help her feel loved. If your girlfriend is cooling off on y'all, it may be considering she's feeling unloved herself. Communicate with her openly and ask her what you tin can do to testify affection in a way that she will appreciate.[8]

    • Every woman is an individual, so don't assume y'all know what your girlfriend wants or needs. She might want more physical amore, or she may wish you'd spend more fourth dimension discussing her favorite books with her. Yous won't know until y'all ask!

  2. 2

    Offering her sincere compliments every 24-hour interval. Everyone wants to experience appreciated, loved, and desired in a relationship. One way to rekindle your girlfriend's involvement in your relationship is to remind her of all the things you lot dearest nearly her.[9]

    • Brand sure not to merely focus on superficial things, similar her appearance. Your girlfriend probably appreciates hearing that you think she's beautiful, but retrieve to comment on who she is as a person, besides.
    • You lot could compliment her on things similar her personality, her accomplishments, or even memories of your fourth dimension together and what they mean to y'all.

  3. three

    Make romantic gestures (and not just on Valentine'southward Day). Call up most the kinds of things you and your girlfriend did together in the early on days of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh. Doing these things over again can help bring back onetime feelings and testify that you are yet interested in making the relationship fun and blithesome.[ten]

    • For example, you might effort surprising your girlfriend with a gift or taking her dorsum to the same identify where you had your commencement appointment.
    • More than applied gestures can be romantic, besides—for example, you could surprise her by cooking her favorite dinner or offering to give her a massage after a long day at work.

  4. four

    Exist intimate without expecting sex . If y'all want sex all the time, your girlfriend might start feeling like intimacy is a job. Give her some space, but don't hold back from offer other gestures of affection, similar hugging, cuddling, kissing, or holding hands. Yous may find that she becomes more interested in sex once you finish trying to initiate it as often.[xi]

    • Y'all may as well find information technology helpful to have an open and honest talk with your girlfriend about what both of yous await from your sex life. Finding out what she likes and doesn't like tin better your intimate moments and aid you connect on a deeper level.

  5. five

    Evidence a genuine involvement in things she cares about. Have time to really get to know your girlfriend and get familiar with her values and interests. She'll feel a stronger and deeper connection with you if you're able to show that you are interested in who she is as a person.

    • For instance, y'all might enquire your girlfriend questions nearly the things she'southward interested in. Watch movies or read books with her so that you tin discuss them together.
    • If she has any favorite hobbies, consider trying them out together.
    • Even if you don't detect all of her interests that exciting, you lot tin bear witness her that you value her past making fourth dimension to heed when she wants to talk about the things she loves.

  6. vi

    Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Open up to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. If y'all're non used to being vulnerable, this can feel scary or uncomfortable at beginning. Notwithstanding, doing and so will assist create a more than meaningful connection betwixt the 2 of you and will prove your girlfriend that you trust her and experience at ease with her.[12]

    • Existence open and vulnerable can also assistance you get your needs met, considering your girlfriend will take an easier fourth dimension agreement and empathizing with you lot.

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  1. i

    Ask your girlfriend to attend couples counseling with yous. If your relationship is really strained or stagnant and you lot aren't making much headway on your own, talk to your girlfriend nigh counseling. An experienced counselor can help you make sense of what's going wrong in your relationship and work with both of you to develop strategies for improving things.

    • Going to couples counseling is also a good way to testify your girlfriend that you are serious nigh making the relationship work.
    • Do an online search or ask your medico to recommend skilful couples counselors in your expanse.
    • If physical intimacy is a large trouble in your relationship, you might do good from seeing a sexual activity therapist.

  2. 2

    Go to counseling on your own if she won't go with yous. If your girlfriend is unwilling to go to counseling with you, don't try to force the result. Yous may still find that you lot tin benefit from seeing a therapist on your own, however. They tin can requite you communication on how to arroyo your relationship in a healthier way or—if necessary—to motility on.

    • Look for a therapist who has feel helping people with relationship problems. Yous might run into a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, or a licensed clinical social worker.

  3. three

    Look into relationship support groups in your area. Support groups tin be great tools for helping you work through your relationship challenges. Ask your physician or therapist to recommend a support group for relationship bug in your surface area, or do an online search for couples support groups nigh yous.

    • Support groups can be led by professional counselors or completely peer-based.
    • Being with other couples facing like challenges can help you gain insight into your own state of affairs. A group can besides be a safety and supportive space for you and your girlfriend to piece of work through your issues together.

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Add together New Question

  • Question

    Can a girl autumn back in dearest with you while you're dating?

    Joshua Pompey

    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Good with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating earth. Joshua has run his ain relationship consulting business concern since 2009 at a success charge per unit of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Skilful Morning time America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the all-time online dater in the world.

    Joshua Pompey

    Relationship Expert

    Expert Answer

    Back up wikiHow by unlocking this skilful answer.

    Admittedly. Nonetheless, if you're in a relationship and their feelings are fluctuating dramatically from day to day, it's really not a good sign. Y'all may experience similar a ten ane 24-hour interval, and a 9 the next day, but information technology should be moderately consistent.

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  • If you think your girlfriend is abusive or that your relationship has go toxic, it's of import to leave the relationship for your ain health and safety. Don't try to stay with anyone who regularly manipulates you, insults or belittles you, attempts to control you, threatens you, violates your boundaries, or physically hurts you.

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